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How Bad is the Porn Industry?

Created/Modified: 2014-10-01/2014-10-01

Some quotes (a few words have been changed or omitted to hide identities):

  • I am overwhelmed with sadness, panic, fear, despair. I know I want to quit, but at this point it’s been 9 years.

  • I am so sick of being poor and pathetic. My life sucks.

  • My coworkers are mean, bitter people, with even more controlling dictatorial people who lead them. It is a toxic place. As soon as I am able, I am leaving.

  • The worst decision of my life. And pay isn’t even that great.

  • I lacked the feeling of connection that I needed to survive. Outwardly I seemed content, but I was dying inside.

  • I finished ten years ago and still wonk around feeling bad

  • But to be honest, I have disliked it for a very long time, and just kept thinking that if I stuck it out things would improve and I would work out the nerves, etc. Also, I have had a really hard time admitting that I may not be cut out for it.

  • I’m learning a lot about myself and about the whole fucking process. Just when I think that my eyes have been opened and I’m finally aware of what a sham all this stuff is and what I need to do to get the hell out of here, I have another realization.

  • So I LEFT MY ABUSIVE MANAGER for another, significantly less abusive one. He was a bigshot and I was terrified he would shut me out and my career would be over because he was unpredictable and I’d heard of similar things happening to other people. NOTHING BAD HAPPENED and my new manager is much better. I feel like I took action, and generally freer. A bit sad that ‘not experiencing direct violence but still anxious and depressed’ counts as ‘much better’, but I wanted to share something slightly hopeful.

  • Over a year ago I told my managers I was suicidally depressed. They told me not to worry because you couldn’t tell from my work. Then none of us ever mentioned it again.

  • ...an exercise in managing crushing anxiety and fear, and trying desperately to make them look like passion or talent. I could literally taste the adrenaline in the back of my throat for whole month. My gums bled spontaneously throughout the day.

  • My faith in my abilities and in myself at this point is almost nonexistent.

Awful, eh? Dreadful. Destructive. Inhumane. Clearly a domain that screws people up, or that attracts screwed up people. Harassment, violence, humiliation.

The thing is: it's not porn. All those quotes are taken from blogs about academia ["Supervisor" or "Advisor" have been changed to "Manager" in a couple of cases.]

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